The First Swirls
Andrew opened the year by selecting Derrick Henry with the 1.11 pick—an objectively reasonable decision that has aged about as well as milk left on a porch in July. While Henry has largely underperformed his Round 1 price tag, Andrew salvaged some early value with his second-round pick, De’Von Achane (who he eventually traded away). He continued the Dolphins theme by drafting Tyreek Hill in the third (also traded), giving his early roster the stability of a sandcastle at high tide.
Garrett Wilson came next in the fourth, which at the time felt like a steal. Unfortunately, Wilson couldn’t stay on the field long enough to make a meaningful impact. Andrew followed up with a pair of Chiefs: Xavier Worthy and Isiah Pacheco. Worthy went down in Week 1 due to some friendly-fire misfortune, and Pacheco… well… simply wasn’t very good at football this year. Tough scenes.
The mid-rounds brought a mixed bag: Mark Andrews (off the roster), Jayden Higgins (off the roster), and Jordan Mason (also off the roster). But the two brightest warning lights were Jaydon Blue and Tre Harris. Both were exciting college standouts but gave Andrew absolutely nothing—finishing the fantasy season as the #486 and #315 players overall. Those numbers aren’t rankings; they’re crime scene evidence.
Turning Point (The Bowel Movement)
While Andrew’s worst waiver transaction might be the speculative add of DJ Giddens—who, by the way, did not score a single point—it’s not really fair to roast a guy for a dart throw. Every team has one (or several) of those.
The real turning points were Andrew’s two marquee trades:
1. Tyreek Hill → Quentin Johnston (pre-Week 2)
Hill outscored Johnston every week until his Week 4 injury, but since then Johnston has cumulatively outscored Hill by 80.3 points. Not a league-breaking win, but a respectable outcome given Hill’s trip to IR two weeks later. Still, one can’t help but wonder… could Hill have fetched a price tag a little higher than Quentin Johnston? We’ll never know.
2. Achane → Zay Flowers + De’Andre Swift (Week 11)
Achane finished the regular season as the RB4, but Andrew flipped him for two startable pieces and avoided having to carry Achane through his bye. With Flowers resurging alongside Lamar and Swift clinging desperately to his role in the Chicago backfield, this deal might actually work out for Norton heading into Week 16. It’s the rare trade where both “I kinda like it” and “What the hell was that?” can coexist peacefully.
Manager Quote
When asked for comment entering this year’s Toilet Bowl gauntlet, Norton declared:
“As one of the two teams on a league-leading three-game winning streak, I am arguably the HOTTEST team right now. Wrong time to catch me.”
Bold words from the Lace ‘Em Up camp. For years we all assumed his team name referenced conceding defeat and preparing for a half marathon—but perhaps we were wrong. Perhaps he’s lacing up the gloves.
As his mentor Jameis Winston once famously tweeted: “The horse is prepared for battle, but victory comes from the Lord.”
Norton appears fully prepared to throw haymakers in hopes of punching his way out of the Toilet Bowl—and if he connects, it’ll be the cleanest thing his team has done all year.
KC Guyz 