Sometimes you ask someone for “some help writing” and that person decides to interpret your request to mean “I’m going to write my own profile in its entirety.” I don’t have to tell you who wrote this and I expect most of you to not make it past the wall of insane “records”.
Historical Context:
Zisman of the FSB Zuggernauts has been the longtime figurehead of the KC Guyz. Many call him Dad. As fate would have it, the fantasy fan was destined to lead the league in all significant fantasy football statistics, including:
Most All-Play Wins
Most All Time Points
Most Points Against
Most Playoff Byes
Most Weekly High Scores (15, and for reference the next closest has 8)
Fewest Worst Weekly Scores (Zisman is the only member to never have had the league’s lowest weekly score)
Most Points Scored in a Regular Season Matchup (199.58)
Best Overall Manager (graded by transaction value)
Best Coach Score (graded by start/sit decisions)
Most Trades Completed
Second Best Draft Value
Second All Time Wins
Highest QB Average Points
Highest WR Average Points
Highest TE Average Points
Second Highest RB Average Points
Second Highest K Average Points
Most Passing Yards of All Time
Most Receptions of All Time
Most Receiving Yard of All Time
Most Receiving TDs of All Time
Best Win Streak in a Single Season
Best Weekly High-Score Streak
Most Newsletters Written
Best All Time Commissioner
Draft:
The 2025 draft, like many drafts before it, resulted in the KC Guyz making absolute fools of themselves while questioning Zisman’s draft ability. CMC and Josh Allen ended in the league’s top 3 scorers. Bowers averaged 2nd in ppg for TEs. Olave ended as WR7 and while every KC Guy passed on Breece Hall, Zisman refused to give up on who would eventually become the RB15 RB16.
The KC Guyz lamented that Zisman didn’t draft enough WRs yet here he is again for the 5th time in 6 seasons standing tall as one of the league’s top scorers.
Best Transaction
Who’s that silently sliding in Zis’ WR2 spot? Is that Future Hall of Famer Mike Evans coming back from IR?
“Zisman overspent on Johnston” who he then traded for a Tyreek Hill, a receiver who averaged 15.9 ppg before a career ending injury leaving Zisman struggling to figure who to play as his WR2.
“Zisman overspent on Vidal” who would go on to have 4 top 10 finishes, off-waivers, for the Zuggernauts.
Turning Point
Who could forget the moment of HOPE when Zisman announced he’d be running for commissioner again.
Playoff outlook
His outlook couldn’t be better with a healthy and hungry Mike Evans coming back from IR. This is the same Mike Evans who scored 40 points in the 2020 finals, 28 points in the 2021 finals, and 30 points in the 2024 finals. Probably not. Actually, it’s unknown if he’ll even play a roll in the final few games of 2025.
Many have described this a “cake walk.”
KC Guyz 