In this crossover edition of the KC Guyz newsletter, we celebrate the legacy of the Football Girlies.
The Girlies have operated under a strict #NoTrashTalk policy. So, for this newsletter, we’re keeping it classy.
Welcome to the Football Girlies Rewind.
📝 Football Girlie Fast Facts
16: Children (not counting the husbands)
9: Greek house affiliations
8: Sarah J. Maas readers
6: Kickball champions
5: Master’s degrees or higher
4: Team names inspired by Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce
👸 The Girlies’ Record Book
Most Wins: Katie Green (47)
Most Points: Katie Green (6,166)
Most 1-Seed Finishes: Melissa (2)
Most Weekly High Scores: Taylor Lamb (8)
Most Playoff Wins: Catie (5)
Most Waiver Claims: Catie (120)
Most Trades: Melissa (2)
✨ Meet the Girls
Alyssa | Sacks in the City | Commissioner
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 3
- Record: 25-45
- Total Points: 5,349
- Playoff Appearances: 1
- Playoff Wins: 1
- Best Finish: 4th
📈 Career Highlights
- 3 Seasons as Commissioner
- Most All Time Kicker Points (Long time readers know this is one of our favorite stats)
- Best Defense in a Season (Fewest Points Against) (2025)
Ashley | Your Gym Teacher’s Team
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 1
- Record: 18-10
- Total Points: 1,943
- Playoff Appearances: 1
- Playoff Wins: 2
- Best Finish: 3rd
📈 Career Highlights
- 2nd Best Win Percentage (.64)
- Most Receiving Touchdowns in a Single Matchup (7)
- Best All-Time Draft Value per Season
Bailey | Chubba Chubba
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 3
- Record: 33-37
- Total Points: 5,800
- Playoff Appearances: 2
- Playoff Wins: 1
- Best Finish: 4th
📈 Career Highlights
- Best All-Time Draft (2024)
- 2nd Most Points Against
- Highest Combined Score (386 Points with Katie O’Neil)
Catie | But Daddy I Drafted Him
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 3
- Record: 39–31
- Total Points: 5,945
- Playoff Appearances: 3
- Playoff Wins: 5
- Best Finish: 1st
📈 Career Highlights
- 2023 Champion
- 2025 Runner-Up
- Most All-Time Playoff Points (1,072)
- Fewest Fumbles in a Season (3)
Daisy | 🌸Victorious Secret 🌸
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 3
- Record: 33-37
- Total Points: 5,618
- Playoff Appearances: 1
- Playoff Wins: 3 (undefeated in playoffs)
- Best Finish: 1st
📈 Career Highlights
- 2024 Champion
- Top Coach Score, All-Time (measured by start/sit decisions)
- Best Manager, All-Time (measured by value of waiver wire adds)
Katie Green | Juice Box Boys | Reigning Champ
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 3
- Record: 47-23
- Total Points: 6,166
- Playoff Appearances: 3
- Playoff Wins: 4
- Best Finish: 1st
📈 Career Highlights
- 2025 Champion
- 2024 Third Place
- 2023 Third Place
- Highest Combined Playoff Score (358 with Melissa)
Katie Kennedy | TBD
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 0
- Record: 0–0
- Total Points: 0
- Playoff Appearances: 0
- Playoff Wins: 0
- Best Finish: N/A
📈 Career Highlights
- Fewest Losses All-Time
- Best All-Time Defense: 0 Points Allowed
- Undefeated
Katie O’Neil | Ball Too Well
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 3
- Record: 32-28
- Total Points: 5,688
- Playoff Appearances: 1
- Playoff Wins: 0
- Best Finish: 6th
📈 Career Highlights
- Most Points Against
- Highest Combined Score (386 Points with Bailey)
- Most All-Time Receiving Touchdowns by a single player (16)
Melissa | Chasing Downs Metcalf
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 3
- Record: 42-28
- Total Points: 6,074
- Playoff Appearances: 3
- Playoff Wins: 4
- Best Finish: 2nd
📈 Career Highlights
- 2024 Runner-Up
- 2023 Runner-Up
- Most All-Time Receiving Yards (14,238)
- Fewest Interceptions in a Season (3)
Susan | Accio Touchdowns
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 3
- Record: 25–45
- Total Points: 5,290
- Playoff Appearances: 0
- Playoff Wins: 0
- Best Finish: 7th
📈 Career Highlights
- Most All-Time Passing Yards (11,788)
- Most All-Time Passing TDs (85)
- All-Time Best TE Draft Pick (2025)
Taylor Arends | Moo Deng
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 1
- Record: 14-14
- Total Points: 1,786
- Playoff Appearances: 1
- Playoff Wins: 0
- Best Finish: 6th
📈 Career Highlights
- Most Field Goals in a Single Matchup (6)
- Most Rushing Yards by a Player in a Single Matchup (255)
- 1 RB with a viral reverse hurdle (this image was the cover of Madden 26)
Taylor Lamb | TayLamb
📸 Career Snapshot
- Seasons: 3
- Record: 36-34
- Total Points: 5,698
- Playoff Appearances: 2
- Playoff Wins: 1
- Best Finish: 4th
📈 Career Highlights
- 2 Seasons Most Points
- Most All-Time Blowout Wins (10)
- Largest All-Time Blowout Win (She beat her opponent by 104 points)
🙏 A Final Sendoff
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. And, of course, special thanks to Alyssa for commissioning the league, organizing draft nights, and planning end-of-year celebrations. She deserves all the praise for creating a hobby for not only a dozen women but also for the KC Guyz who get the opportunity to talk shop with their Football Girlies.
Thank you to Daisy who reads every newsletter before publishing (except this part, I added it at the end). Most of these start at twice the length with far more boring stats and charts; as the behind-the-scenes Senior Editor, Daisy helps make these somewhat readable.
Lastly, this wouldn’t be a classic newsletter without at least some trash talk. So, on a personal note, I look forward to planning draft strategy with Daisy. After all, we are the only couple where both individuals have won their league championship.
