Preseason Newsletter
As attendees arrived for the 2024 Owner Meeting, the air was thick with anticipation while the setting sun glowed warmly over the gathering. “I look forward to this event all year,” confessed Connor Lamb, host of the KC Guyz Pod, as he sat surrounded by his closest friends and fiercest competitors.
Hosted by Trey Kennedy, catered by Chris Wahrman, and facilitated by Ryan Zisman, the meeting, a cherished tradition among the KC Guyz, served as a forum for the State of the Union address, the presentation of awards, and the discussion of rule changes. The event started promptly at 7:30 and concluded on time, a nod to the commissioner’s meticulous planning.
Mirroring the solemn tradition of the Supreme Court’s Judicial Handshake, the event began with each owner shaking hands to underscore that despite differences in opinions, their shared commitment to the league’s spirit remains unshaken. Spencer Mobley, donning a league shirt designed by Wahrman, added a touch of camaraderie to the proceedings. While Jordan Bosch and Zisman wore suits, fitting of the formal occasion.
In what has been hailed the most compelling State of the Union in league history, the commissioner lauded the triumphs and setbacks of the KC Guyz. He concluded his speech announcing these winners of the 2023 awards:
- Offensive Player of the Year: John Gilmore
- Defensive Player of the Year: Jordan Bosch
- Chatty Cathy: Collin Green
- Friendly Ghost: Chris Wahrman
- Worst Offensive Player of the Year: Matt O’Neil
- Worst Defensive Player of the Year: Andrew Norton
- Coach of the Year: Trey Kennedy
Throughout the event, the Edmund Bros, Matt O’Neil and Trey Kennedy, faced their own set of unique challenges. O’Neil’s late arrival was a minor hiccup in an otherwise smoothly run event; and despite abundant communication leading up to the meeting, Kennedy appeared visibly confused about the rules, eliciting sympathetic looks and questions of his acuity.
While many administrative policies were passed, the notable transformation to the league structure came with the introduction of divisions:
- Girl Dads: United by fatherhood
- Space Cadets: United by science
- The Patriots: United by freedom
The Office of the Commissioner believes these divisions will unite the league toward a strong and dedicated future.
Then in the waning minutes, owners debated the two hottest issues: an IR spot and a Win Against the Median. These issues came down to two crucial absentee votes. Collin Green, dialing in from Mexico, was instrumental in casting the deciding vote on IR. And the swing vote for the Win Against the Median belonged to Sam Arends, who remarked, “An extra game each week is objectively a good idea, but Andrew [Norton] led a revolt and called it a PAC, and that’s a great bit.” Norton’s political maneuvering via the One Win PAC resulted in at least one more year allowing wins to be wins.
The league awaits as Bosch selects the first overall draft position of 2024.
Thank you,
Office of the Commissioner
KC Guyz 