By Matthew O’Neil, Contributing Writer
Historical Context
Chris, owner of Daddy Warbucks, will be embarking on his maiden voyage into the treacherous waters of the KC Guyz postseason. He and others hope his fate resembles Ferdinand Magellan’s sweeping success across the global and not the tragic slow-motion doom of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Early signs? Could go either way.
Draft
Picking from the 5-spot, Wahrman opened with spark-plug Jahmyr Gibbs—whom Chris lovingly nicknamed “That Jon be-Giving Me a Huge Boner ” (or something similarly unprintable), due to Gibbs’ uncanny ability to excite him both spiritually and physically, very physically.
He followed up by nabbing JSN in the 3rd round—now the number-one WR in fantasy. After that came two rookies who blossomed into real contributors: RJ Harvey and TJ Warren. It was, in all, a draft with the vibes of a man who said, “Youth? Potential? Surely one of these guys pans out?”
Best Transaction / Turning Point
When asked about his best move, Wahrman replied:
“Is there a way to see all your individual transactions? Most of mine have been… fine? But picking up Daniel Jones off waivers probably saved my season.”
(We checked. There is a way to see your transactions. He didn’t look.)
Quote
We asked Chris for a quote to include in this profile. He instead sent a deep cut Tim Robinson video. Transcription below:
“I like my whole team, actually. I love my team. I’m just trying to do something exciting by having a team with all really bad people. I just want to feel cool and dangerous and… I want people to like me. Maybe I try too hard to be like a wild guy.”
A stirring manifesto from a man who drafted like he had a leather jacket on and a fedora with a safari flap on the back.
Playoff Outlook
Daddy Warbucks will have to play in Round 1, as a bye was never really in the cards. His roster draws some brutal matchups—Gibbs, Jacobs, and Moore each face a top-four defense. Burrow and JSN, however, get much friendlier draws.
Our writers believe the entirety of his playoff hopes lie in his two lightning rods: JSN and Gibbs. If both erupt at the same time—if they can get struck by the same metaphorical lightning bolt—Chris just might ride that electrified rod all the way to Bonerville.
And isn’t that what the postseason is all about?
KC Guyz 