KC Guyz

In today’s newsletter:

• Fantasy vs. Football
• Daisies and Rainbows
• Alt Bracket Scenarios
• Commissioner Election

Fantasy vs. Football

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In our lead story, we ask the question which team is better? The Zuggernauts owned by GM Ryan Zisman representing the best of Fantasy or the Sunday Scaries owned by GM Spencer Mobley representing the best of Football.

While the above numbers show a telling story, let’s take a look at the immeasurable qualities of both general managers.

Zisman represents the best of fantasy—he’ll talk your ear off about Jon Snow’s destiny, Rand al’Thor stubbornness, and Adolin Kholin’s proclivity for dueling. Zisman could name more high-fantasy cities than he could US states. For a year, he fought to save the citizens of Winterhaven through his DnD campaign as a halfling arcane trickster. He’s attended every Marvel movie premiere and once won a costume contest dressed as a pirate.

Mobley represents the best of football—he’s watched 50 hours, just this season, of Oklahoma State football (despite their 0-9 performance in conference play). His dedication knows no bounds exemplified by his attendance at the Dolphins/Chiefs playoff game last season where the temperature hit record lows. He could tell you the life story of each Heisman candidate and NFL MVP from the past 15 years and could name most skill players on each team’s 53 man roster.

This championship week is a rematch from their championship game in 2020 where Mobley dominated Zisman 165 to 103.

Of dominance, Zisman has made the championship game both years where his team didn’t have the first or second most points scored against him.

Will Zisman earn his first championship ring or will Mobley be the first team with two? Tune in to find out what happens in this holiday showdown.

Daisies and Rainbows

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All things are daisies and rainbows in the Zisman household as both Ryan Zisman and Daisy Morris advanced to the finals in their leagues of record. Morris faces off against long time reader of this newsletter, Melissa Gilmore. Let’s break down the stats from their 10-woman league:

Because the women maintain a no-trash-talk league, we take this opportunity to celebrate the new hobby the Football Girlies have found and wish everyone to play their best and have fun in the last week of play.

Alt Bracket Scenarios

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Divisional System (Current Method)

Non-Divisional System

Power Ranking System

Power Ranking system where the seeds are determined by (Points For x 2) + (PF x Win %) + (PF x Win % if played vs median):

2-Win System (with Game Against Median)

Winless System (by Points For)

All-Play System

If Every Team Played Against Each Other Each Week:

Total Finals Appearances with All Bracket Scenarios:

1. Mobley: 6
2. Bosch: 3
3. Zisman: 2
4. Arends: 1

Commissioner Election

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Our office has consistently expressed how much we’ve looked forward to leading this league and how deeply grateful we are to former Commissioner O’Neil for the opportunity. It’s been an honor and a blessing to introduce trophies, a newsletter, a podcast, a rulebook, a website, a combine, and, perhaps most importantly, a firm stance in the face of adversity. It will continue to be our honor to fully support anyone who believes they can lead the league better and wants to take a stab at the commissioner role. To that end, on December 17th, Trey Kennedy appeared to throw his hat into the ring for election. Or did he?

Rather than formally announcing his candidacy, Kennedy simply declared, “That was abrupt, but I ACCEPT,” as if entirely unaware of the election process despite an abundance of information provided. This puzzling move has only deepened our previously documented concerns about his acuity. Alarmingly, these concerns were further validated during the playoffs, where Kennedy confidently messaged, “Don’t worry I’ll humble [Zisman],” seemingly unaware of his current matchup against Gilmore.

Our apprehensions were amplified on October 31st, when Kennedy proclaimed, “I quit. Commish erase my team.” This dramatic response came after our office acted with grace and efficiency to reinstate his players following the Roster Dumping Scandal of 2024. Such erratic behavior raises questions about his mental stability and capacity to commission.

On October 8th, after Week 5, Kennedy introduced a new league norm: the team with the lowest weekly points would enter a $10 parlay on behalf of the league. For seven weeks, Kennedy enjoyed the benefits of this activity. However, after his own low score in Week 13, he failed to submit his parlay, leaving the league wondering about his commitment to the expectations he establishes.

We also question Kennedy’s judgment when he aligned his Seeding Stance with Mobley and Lamb, two KC Guyz who Kennedy has previously described as “cowardly” and “spineless” during their tenures as commissioner. Aligning with these two individuals appeared atypical of him.

Perhaps Kennedy’s mental decline began in 2022 when he opposed awarding the final playoff seed to the team with the most remaining points. Through sheer determination, he managed to overturn the established rule mere days before the playoffs. Yet, he later reversed course with other members of the League Judiciary Sub-Committee after our office published a letter detailing the season’s events. This pattern of waffling is troubling for one running for commissioner.

That said, Kennedy remains one of the most organized members of this league. He’s not just funny. He is one of America’s most successful professional comedians. He’s detail oriented, demonstrated by the successful multi-million dollar small business he runs. He’s a published author and a hilarious writer, employs a full-time videographer and editor who could produce content for the league, and could likely negotiate a killer deal on wine for Draft Night. Most importantly, Kennedy is the glue that has held this friend group together.

If Kennedy is truly committed to the effort required, there is no doubt he could be the best commissioner the KC Guyz has ever seen. Yet, he waffled on quitting this year, waffled on the $10 low point parlay, waffled on his opinions of Lamb and Mobley, and waffled on his understanding of the 2022 playoff rules. This man has more waffle experience than Gilmore in 2020. Therefore, we believe his bid for commissioner was but a joke, and will keep ourselves in the commissioner election until we otherwise hear from him of his platform and commitment to be better than our current administration.