Gilmores Top the Charts, Cotton Loves Cotton

State of the Union

Welcome to our Week 8 crossover event. In this week’s lead story, we review the State of the Union of both the men’s and women’s leagues by ranking each couple in terms of total wins across the KC Guyz and Football Girlies.

Rank	Couple	Wins	Points For (Tie Breaker)
1	John (5) and Melissa (14)	19	2,229.08
2	Ryan (3) and Daisy (14)	17	2,152.26
3	Collin (4) and Katie (9)	13	2,124.42
4	Sam (4) and Taylor (8)	12	2,100.92
5	Jordan (4) and Catie (8)	12	2,051.24
6	Connor (3) and Taylor (6)	9	1,986.96
7	Matt (4) and Katie (4)	8	1,946.42
8	Chris (2) and Alyssa (5)	7	1,967.24
9	Spencer (7) and Ashley (0)	7	1169.50
10	Trey (7) and Katie (0)	7	1116.06
11	Andrew (3) and Susan (3)	6	1,941.9
12	Travis (2) and his special pillow (0)	2	892.88

Cotton had this to say about his performance, “[My pillow’s kept me winning in more ways than one.]”

He continued, “[This pillow knows a thing or two about scoring, and pillow talk, if you know what I mean.]”

We wish we didn’t know what he meant.

Justification by Works Revisited

Earlier this season, we concluded that those who skipped small group to watch football scored better than those who attended .

Now, we revisit this idea as the KC Guyz once again met during a Kansas City Chiefs game, this time against a divisional rival. The group met to study the book Making All Things New, so we’ll categorize the members by those who attended, the Renewed, and those who skipped, the Worn Out.

The Renewed (3-3):

Andrew Norton: W
Collin Green: L
Matt O’Neil: L
Spencer Mobley: W
Travis Cotton: L
Trey Kennedy: W

The Worn Out (3-3)

Chris: W
Connor: L
John: L
Jordan: W
Ryan: W
Sam: L

When filtering out matchups where both teams either attended or skipped, we’re left with an even 2-2 record.

Although tied in terms of wins, long time readers know this publication believes points are the best indication of fantasy football excellence:

Total Points:

The Renewed: 842, or about 140 points per team
The Worn Out: 785.9, or about 131 points per team

Fascinatingly, those who skipped group averaged 9 fewer points but miraculously won the same number of games as if due to Divine Intervention, perhaps suggesting we should reschedule small group during future Chiefs games.

Nonetheless, the objective nature of this publication compels us to conclude that those who attended group in week 8 performed better than those who skipped. It’s clear from the numbers, at least this week, our faith demands you cheer for The Chief, and not false idols in culturally appropriated red spandex (Exodus 20:3).

Forgiveness can be had via one Hail Mary:

The Madden Cover Curse

Our coverage of league standouts has seemingly triggered a series of unfortunate events replicating the Madden Cover curse. The rundown:

After the combine we published the article, Bosch Wins Combine. Shortly after, Bosch’s top 3 picks hit IR.
Following the draft, we wrote Kennedy Wins Draft. His second round pick ended the first week on IR.
After week 1, we wrote League Member Rankings, where Zisman earned an S tier status. He has since lost 5 of his last seven matchups.
After week 2, we ranked team brands giving Bosch, Lamb, and Green an S tier status. Each went on to lose their Week 3 matchups.
After week 3, Space Cadets Outta This World profiled the Space Cadets division, which has since embarked on a 6-14 run through Week 8.
After week 4, we wrote about small group attendance. Afterward, Attendance Whip Kennedy lost his first (and only) matchup of the season.
After week 5, we ranked the KC Gals where Wahrman’s “Christina” earned a S tier designation. Wahrman went on to face the league’s Week 6 Highest Points winner.
After week 6, we ranked draft night intros and gave Norton an S tier for his entrance. Norton went on to lose his week 7 matchup.
After week 7, Mobley Overtakes All Time Wins celebrated Mobley’s success, only for him to lose the Highest Weekly Points award late Monday night, thanks to a 73-yard punt return touchdown.
Looking ahead, we state our regret for the Gilmores’ impending demise.